My career has brought me many laughs, crazy moments and stupid questions. I decided to write an article about some of the nuttier things. I hope you enjoy them.
- Yesterday I was asked if it is healthy to use salt water to wash your intimate area.
- Two days ago a guy in India asked me what is the best water to hold in the fart smell when he has women in his hot tub.
- In 1988 while making a sales presentation at a chemical plant the office girls stubbornly insisted I use heir office bathroom instead of waiting across the street to the plant. I had a sick stomach that day, and the 92-degree weather, broken air conditioning and close proximity of the bathroom to the reception desk created an atmosphere in which the women surely wished they had let me go across the street. But wait, it gets worse. 15 minutes later while sitting at a table going over my proposal the heel of my shoe came off and fell into an old fashioned iron grate cold air return in the floor. Nope, it gets worse. After the presentation, my contact left and as I was packing my things I discovered that the tail of my dress shirt has been poking out of my zipper the entire time. And yes, I stood up in front of the room for part of my presentation. As I hobbled like a drunk on uneven shoes I had to pass the reception area that still hinted of my visit. Oddly enough, I eventually got the order for this project. I still cannot believe this sequence of events.
- In 1986 while starting up an RO system in a penthouse at Carnegie Mellon University my pants spilt badly. The staff didn’t know but I did. On this particular day, I went commando and as my luck would have it leaving the penthouse involved climbing down a set of retractable stairs that went into the middle of a filled classroom. I waited in the water room for an hour until it was safe to climb down and sneak out to my car I had an 80-mile ride home. Good grief, what a weird day.
- An older colleague of mine sold a high purity water system to the Cleveland Aquarium. The water sucked all the salt out of the fish, blew them all up like balloons and killed them. He didn’t tell me what he did but instead asked me to make a joint call with him. Big, puffed out, cartoon-looking fish and pissed of aquarium workers. What a day that was.
- During an installation that is more recent than I care to think about, a buffoon of a business owner gave me a lifetime of grief in just a few weeks. First, the guy refused to follow the utility specifications I provided and thrice tried to blame me to his investors as the reason they wasted thousands of dollars. Four times he went in and changed the work that we completed, destroying parts. pipes and creating leaks; again blaming me. When confronted with pictures that proved him wrong, he accused us of stalking and harassing him. Finally, he accused me of sexually harassing three temporary workers and then screamed at them when they denied his claims and called me a gentleman. And with all of that, they asked for a quote on an additional system. Ah…I think I’; pass. Thank you very much.
THE WORLD OF WATER, AT LEAST MINE, IS ONE CRAZY PLACE